It all happened so fast

Stupidity follows me; wherever I go, commonsense often abandons me. I say this as I pick gravel out of the back of my curly headed hair. I tripped over a rock today. Not a pebble, not a camouflaged stone hiding under a bush, a colossal boulder that could be used as a loveseat. I walked past this rock to hang clothing on a line to dry when I realized that I needed more clothespins and as I walked back to the kitchen door, I remember looking up at the clothing swaying in the breeze. I was thinking maybe I should add extra pins in case the wind picks up and that's when I heard my steel-toed shoe make a 'clink' sound. Thank goodness for those shoes, because the force of my graceful tumble could’ve turned my toes into modern art. I flipped over the rock, using my left arm as leverage and causing my legs to swing up over my head (like a gymnast with zero skills and no spotter). I didn't quite know what had happened as I lay on my back looking up at the clear blue sky. I know I hit my head but not hard enough to knock any sense into me. I got up slowly and surveyed the damage. My right thumb was sore and had been cut, my left forearm looked like it had been through a cheese grater, and my right shin/knee were screaming in a different language. The mystery still stands as to why the back of my left shoulder was sore and swollen. Everytime I look at the scene or try to recreate how I landed the way I did, I just start laughing. I walked into the office, no limping or shame, and sat down with the first-aid kit. My co-worker was on the phone, said nothing to me but kept watching with eyes as large as saucers and confusion written all over his face. This situation is on the heels of last week's event when I sliced my cuticle off with an exacto knife. My coworker asked very few questions and then got up and walked away. I figured he needed to get something or was going to the bathroom. Nope, he went to inspect the rock... he needed proof. That's when we both noticed the welt forming on my arm. He got me a huge bag of ice that he found in the freezer, like it was something left over from a summer BBQ and I put it on my arm which hurt like hell, almost as bad as walking into a rock. I now hold the shop record for Baddage Usage, it is my solemn duty to advise the team when our first-aid kit needs restocking. Those who know me well, know that I am accident prone. I fall often, I bruise easily and I hardly ever feel embarrassed. When I called my husband to let him know of the situation I said something had happened and his reaction was proof of my clumsiness, he said 'what did you do now?' Still very little shock when I answered, 'I didn't see the rock'. Karma finally came knocking today because I laugh waaayyyyy to hard and for far too long at videos of people tripping and falling. My son would call my move a 'scorpion,' where your legs flip over your body while your head and shoulders meet the ground. I guess I scorpioned for the first time, proving that at almost 40, there are still new tricks for this old dog.