Mike, Liz, Joe, Tony

The oldest is Mike and like most older siblings, he knows best. Then there's Liz, my only sister, my first woman role model. The middle child is Joe, the balance between all of us. And Tony is the youngest, the one we all make excuses for. Our parents had five children and we each lived through a different stage of their marital hell. They had a toxic relationship; unhappy and unhealthy. Their separation was a blessing by the time it happened. I can honestly say I had never seen or felt love between our mother and father. At very least, the Medeiros kids had each other for love and support, our shared experiences made us stronger.

In addition to DNA, we all share a few characteristics. We are very stubborn, we make up lyrics to songs, we are super loud (especially when heated), we suffer from headaches (some worse than others), we have funny sounding laugh's (some worse than others), and we never feel like our best is good enough. We have beautiful smiles (lucky break because there was no money for braces) and we have charming personalities. We also have a reputation for being hard workers; never expecting something for nothing.

I wish each of them could see themselves through my eyes. Mike pulled himself out of a dark, grim existence and built a life from nothing. I admire him for his courage and strength. He is exactly where he needs to be, surrounded by people who think the world of him and yet he beats himself up for not doing more or being more. Liz struggles to see her own value. I have seen her compromise herself to take care of others. She needs to find a way to love herself and not let fake people convince her that she isn't worthy of joy or happiness. Joe is painfully aware of life and death; he lives each day with the reminder that it could be his last. This isn't a bad thing except that he lets people walk all over him for fear of leaving things unfinished. He avoids confrontation if possible and he loves harder than anyone else I know. I would like to see him put a higher price-tag on his free-time and stop feeling so much guilt. Tony has never found a place to belong. I have a soft spot for Tony that makes it difficult for me to see clearly sometimes. I wish for his health and safety but at the same time, I wish he would put the emotional health and physical safety of others before his own. He reacts before he thinks and he defends his actions before he can make sense of them.

I have no idea what Mike, Liz, Joe or Tony would say about me if they were given the opportunity but I am open to receive it. My intention is not to upset any of them or to cause any resentment. I pray that we all get more time together, more life experiences and more memories. Family is family, good or bad. I will always be there for them, for as long as they will have me. Here's hoping they don't disown me after they read this.

Did I mention how much I love you guys?

#weneedanothergroupphoto