Presence & Effort

I am a proud mother. I stand to our son’s defense and will act as a human shield for that boy. Blood means less to me than presence and effort. It’s all I ever wanted when I was growing up, someone to stand up for me, someone to defend me if I needed it. My hero complex comes from my upbringing, why not be the person you wish was there for you. Why not help those who feel lonely, unloved and forgotten. Josh became the embodiment of the child I was.

My husband had a wonderful childhood with love, support, discipline and structure; he fell in love with me of all people. His love and compassion mixed with my broken home brought us to both love Josh as our own. I am going to compare our son to a dog now, don’t judge me. Kevin never wanted a dog. He was very clear from the beginning that he didn’t care for pets of any kind. When we moved to a country house with an acre of land the property was begging for a fur-baby. I heard the trees in the wind saying ‘puppy pleassssssse’. We bought the house on Valentine’s Day 2014 and before cleaning or unpacking a single box we left the next morning to pick up our Bernese Mountain Dog. His name is Zeus and he has a personality larger than his breed. Zeus whines when he sees squirrels because he wants to play with them, he howls to ‘Best Day Of My Life’ by American Authors, he is scared of the dark (legit) and he cries during thunderstorms. If you asked Kevin whether he would ever get rid of Zeus he would say ‘NO!’. He loves that dog. He admits that he is not a Dog person but he is a Zeus person. Rewind now to our wedding in 2012 and Kevin says to me ‘I’m not sure if I want children’. Tough thing for me to hear because I wanted to be a mom but I was really afraid of raising a child. I worried that my mother and her shortcomings would bleed into my subconscious, making me a clone of her. All the bad, all the ugly and none of the good. I knew Kevin was the man for me so whatever was meant to be would be. A year into our marriage I convinced Kevin that we should just ‘roll the dice’ see if we get pregnant and go from there. I was pregnant 4 times before Josh came into our lives. All pregnancies were miscarriages, different stages with the longest one being 10 weeks. Kevin became a father to Josh and now if you asked him if he would ever get rid of Josh he would say ‘NO!’. He loves his son. Kevin didn’t think he was a Dad person but he is a Josh person.

#oursonjosh #proudparents #zeusrules