Torture Device

There is a direct relationship between how much I want to go somewhere and how little I want to wear a bra. I debate going out based on dress code and the amount of time I have to ‘jail the ladies’. Once the thought of unhooking that torture device enters my mind, it’s a done deal, I am already one foot out the door. The only exception is when I am around family. I'll just take it off, at the birthday party, during a round of Catch-Phrase. When I worked in an office it was much worse. I had no choice but to wear the Real Deal; the itchy back clip, the terrible arm straps that dug into my shoulders leaving a permanent indent and that hateful underwire 🤬. Putting on the brassiere should be considered a sport, I believe there would be a large viewership. I suggest categories based on Type of Bra and Cup Size. There are impressive women out there that can Clip-In-Back in half a second. I would never make it to the Bra Olympics with my Fasten-In-The-Front, Reverse-The-Garment, Adjust-The-Boob technique. Being self-employed now, operating out of a warehouse, I get to wear sports bra's everyday. They are better than the usual contraption but you get zero lift. Gravity is a cruel and unyielding opponent. I bet the bra is a deciding factor for women considering life in a nudist colony 🤔. There is some relief though... that glorious moment when I ask my husband to scratch my back, all the areas I can’t reach. I told him I’m going to get a back scratcher so I can do it myself and stop bugging him but he refuses. I think he secretly enjoys seeing me melt and moan with pleasure, while I curse the creator of the ‘Over-The-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder’. Oh! Look at the time... it’s half-past Back Scratch 😂.

NO UNDERWIRE WAS WORN DURING THE CREATION OF THIS POST.