Update #1

How are you? Such a thoughtful question. It's asked so often that I gage my answer on who is asking and whether I feel they are just being polite.

Here is my real response, as of today:

On a scale of one to ten for mood, I am an 8.... it would be a 10 if I could convince my period to wait at least one more day because I had sexy-time plans with my husband for tonight. My intimacy, pleasure and body image issues are getting better. We have a new 'intro' to the main event and I am enjoying it. My weight is probably the same. I hit the 6-week mark yesterday which means I could have weighed myself to see my progress but I chose not to. I don't believe the number on the scale is going to help me or motivate me. I preached all these weeks about the workouts and that is my biggest accomplishment. I have stuck to the three-times-a-week workout circuit's that Mike organizes so that's my pat on the back. My eating, on the other hand, is out to lunch. I incorporate healthier elements but I am indulging waaaay too much. The proof is in the fingertips, as I type, my right hand is stained orange from eating a full bag of Colette's Popcorn. Cheddar cheese and caramel corn, layered like Chicago Mix but made fresh. I washed that bad boy down with an A&W Root Beer and my only regret was sitting through Tommy Boy again (To: Jon and Kevin, it's a good movie but it's not THAT funny 🤷🏽‍♀️).

On a scale of one to ten for acceptance, I am surprisingly a 9..... I have finally let go of the hope that Josh will come home. The door is open for him if he ever did make that kind of life changing decision but I am no longer pushing for that option. I have also backed down completely on advising him what he should or shouldn't be doing. Aside from a few bill payment reminders, I am letting him stand on his own two feet. I am not the center of his world anymore. It's an incredibly sad and necessary process. I am in a good place now, loving him and missing him every moment of the day, at a distance, letting him have his independence.

My bug bite has healed as a cool scare, just below my right breast. My arms have a new found pain, the inside of my elbows, at the bend of the arm, send electrifying pulses straight to my fingertips when I move a certain way or pick up something heavy. I've been told not to worry, this is the tendon/muscle strengthening 💪🏼, I probably over-did it with the last workout. We have another birthday party to go to today, Madison is 7 and her Rainbocorn Birthday starts at 11am with a water slide feature. PS - Rainbocorn's are a huge success and Target has decided to discontinue the item 🤦🏽‍♀️. I found some Rainbow Unicorn Slime and a sequin backpack - it will have to do. Before the party, we are going for a hike with some of our favorite people, Jon, Erika and OG 💜.

Side Bar: Erika asked me what house I belonged to. I should have clued in that she meant Hogwarts since we were on the topic of Harry Potter. My first instinct was to try explaining what age I moved out of my dad's house 😂. I did the Sorting Hat Quiz, her and I have the same House 'Hufflepuff'. Out of the 28 quiz questions, there were a bunch related to death. After you are gone, how do you wish to be remembered? There is only one thing I know for a fact.... no one is going to say 'I didn't know her that well, very private, always kept to herself' 😋

My morning coffee is working its magic and my bowels are yelling at me.

Have a great Sunday everyone!!